Update on Baby!

So far the doctor says everything looks fabulous and they way it should! Which is always good!

I get to have my "Big Ultrasound" in about 1-2 weeks and I can't wait to find out the gender of my baby. I would love a boy- BUT John has already chosen the name for the child if it is going to be a boy...lame I know...so I am secretly hoping for a girl. Because we haven't decided on a name yet. :)

I really want to find out sooner, but I only have one request form thing...lame I know...but oh well. It's still rather exciting!  And one thing about this pregnancy is you can't even tell that I am pregnant! Crazy! My neighbor was somewhat the same way with her youngest. so I know its not particularly a bad thing.

Thinking... divorce and adoption

Well things with John and myself haven't been great, our moods right now are conflicting and I believe that we just don't mesh well together. Personally I think that it's time for us to separate and go our own ways.

With that said, seeing I am almost 13 weeks along, (will be tomorrow) I have an appointment today at about 3 to go to LDS Family Services and talk to them about what may be best for me to do right now. (As in is adoption the best thing for my baby right now) Which I personally believe it to be. I fear that John will take his anger out and scare, frighten, and in a way abuse our child without realizing it that is IF we stay together and IF I decide to keep my child.

I feel like no one really understands where I am coming from, with this and they still continue to say that I need to push on a bit longer, yet I fear that if I do things will only get worse. Which so far they have.